hello world
somehow i just assumed that no one would really actually READ the blog. maybe my mom would check it out when she figured out where it was on my personal webpage, but not actual people. especially people i don't know.
but. people did apparently. and some people left comments. hooray for that! of course, the comments were left in November and i only just realized that TODAY (january) but right on. i'm open to comments. i love support, and why the heck else would i put it out there except to keep that flow of energy going.
hooray. so keep on commenting whenever and i'll actually read them and respond in a more reasonable time frame.
nice.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Old Friends
The other night i went to YS to teach the Power Vinyasa (which i am totally enjoying) and i saw some students i had never seen there before. i looked on the sign-in page and recognized the name but couldn't really place it. so then right before class the girl comes up to me and asks if my last name is P... and i say Yes and she is from my hometown and then the guy introduces himself as someone i went through years of grade school up into high school with. NUTS! he looked very different and i look totally the same but how cool was that. i got to give them a practice that they seemed to enjoy and at the end we had a few minutes to catch up. this is someone i might have pegged as becoming a lawyer or dentist or something but no... he's going to school for Ayurveda starting this month. totally cool.
it never occurred to me that my yoga practice could hook me up with people from my past and shine a light into my future at the same time. Rad.
it never occurred to me that my yoga practice could hook me up with people from my past and shine a light into my future at the same time. Rad.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Immersion 1 weekend 1
This weekend I started my Anusara Immersion 1 at Willow Street Yoga in DC with Kate Miller and Moses Brown. This first weekend was led by Kate Miller
Yogini's Journal: "if nothing else my practice should become more refined and much deeper through this process. Who knew you could work so deeply?? Wild.
Quick personal practice notes: Today what i got that i had been leaving out was the hugging to the midline in the legs in Tadasana. So that is happening now with the heels spinning in to combat the effect of inner spiral of the thighs. And i'm in uttanasana and my gut is lifting up, not collapsing over my thighs because my heart is soft and my legs are engaged.
also, got Chateranga is done with the hands at chest level. just like a weight lifter bench presses to the chest, chateranga is with the arms there, not at eye level. (i was already working that after talking with vicki but the weight lifter image really helps). Then soften the heart and melt into the pose, weight into the fingers. Prasarita Padottanasana i worked the muscle energy so so much I felt it wrap around my pelvis and up into my abdominals. deep deep work in my hips too. and my goodness she is COOKING us in downward dog!
So, it's Sunday of the first weekend. we're on lunch break which is weird because it's 3:30 and we started at noon. But, ok, it's lunch. The practice today was slow and detailed and hard work, but good. The lecture was about the five principles and the three As. I was surprised how much i knew and could recall on demand. good.
So this time, I feel a qualitative difference. In my last teacher training i really pushed myself socially to connect and be chatty. This time i'm sitting alone in a corner on our lunch break happy as a clam to be quiet and writing and off on my own. Last time i would be so annoyed with myself thinking "I NEED to make connections" this time i'm thinking "I NEED to honor myself and take this quiet time so i can be fresh and open to receive in the classroom" such a difference. a SOFTENING and allowing for myself to just be ok with who i am. even if i'm an introvert (gasp!) Now i'm in a different place and surely that has to do somewhat with using my practice to know and ACCEPT myself more fully. honestly, it feels good to take the break i need and NOT to be down on myself for needing it. I used to spend a lot of time steamrolling myself without even thinking. Hopefully not so much anymore.
Two other bits about today. First i practiced dead center front row, i could reach out and touch the teacher. That is totally NOT me. I don't want to be back row (except when i'm practicing somewhere as a teacher getting a freebie) but i'm not usually absolute front. I try to blend in to the crowd and often to disappear. No. now i'm working on really allowing my light to shine and my self to be seen. (no wonder i could use a break right now)
Also today in Savasana, after all that deep work, i found myself thinking about the hospital where i used to work and the climate there right around the time that i left. As i'm writing this i realize that this is about the same time that Vicki stopped teaching and so i had no more Anusara classes. that's interesting - as soon as i get my body back into alignment it spits out the last things i was working on before this big break. i know i also thought of Vicki at some point either before class or in savasana and a real sense of mourning and loss came up. When i got word that we could practice together it really felt like she was coming back from the dead. so i'm just joyful to be able to see her if and when possible. I hope our thursday practice really takes hold and she becomes Certified sooner rather than later so i can keep on working with her.
And i had another John Friend dream last night. This time he was teaching and i got to learn from him and so did my best friend. There was some time when i couldn't find him or something and my next door neighbor from childhood was helping. crazy. i do like having John Friend dreams. they feel very reassuring in some way."
Yogini's Journal: "if nothing else my practice should become more refined and much deeper through this process. Who knew you could work so deeply?? Wild.
Quick personal practice notes: Today what i got that i had been leaving out was the hugging to the midline in the legs in Tadasana. So that is happening now with the heels spinning in to combat the effect of inner spiral of the thighs. And i'm in uttanasana and my gut is lifting up, not collapsing over my thighs because my heart is soft and my legs are engaged.
also, got Chateranga is done with the hands at chest level. just like a weight lifter bench presses to the chest, chateranga is with the arms there, not at eye level. (i was already working that after talking with vicki but the weight lifter image really helps). Then soften the heart and melt into the pose, weight into the fingers. Prasarita Padottanasana i worked the muscle energy so so much I felt it wrap around my pelvis and up into my abdominals. deep deep work in my hips too. and my goodness she is COOKING us in downward dog!
So, it's Sunday of the first weekend. we're on lunch break which is weird because it's 3:30 and we started at noon. But, ok, it's lunch. The practice today was slow and detailed and hard work, but good. The lecture was about the five principles and the three As. I was surprised how much i knew and could recall on demand. good.
So this time, I feel a qualitative difference. In my last teacher training i really pushed myself socially to connect and be chatty. This time i'm sitting alone in a corner on our lunch break happy as a clam to be quiet and writing and off on my own. Last time i would be so annoyed with myself thinking "I NEED to make connections" this time i'm thinking "I NEED to honor myself and take this quiet time so i can be fresh and open to receive in the classroom" such a difference. a SOFTENING and allowing for myself to just be ok with who i am. even if i'm an introvert (gasp!) Now i'm in a different place and surely that has to do somewhat with using my practice to know and ACCEPT myself more fully. honestly, it feels good to take the break i need and NOT to be down on myself for needing it. I used to spend a lot of time steamrolling myself without even thinking. Hopefully not so much anymore.
Two other bits about today. First i practiced dead center front row, i could reach out and touch the teacher. That is totally NOT me. I don't want to be back row (except when i'm practicing somewhere as a teacher getting a freebie) but i'm not usually absolute front. I try to blend in to the crowd and often to disappear. No. now i'm working on really allowing my light to shine and my self to be seen. (no wonder i could use a break right now)
Also today in Savasana, after all that deep work, i found myself thinking about the hospital where i used to work and the climate there right around the time that i left. As i'm writing this i realize that this is about the same time that Vicki stopped teaching and so i had no more Anusara classes. that's interesting - as soon as i get my body back into alignment it spits out the last things i was working on before this big break. i know i also thought of Vicki at some point either before class or in savasana and a real sense of mourning and loss came up. When i got word that we could practice together it really felt like she was coming back from the dead. so i'm just joyful to be able to see her if and when possible. I hope our thursday practice really takes hold and she becomes Certified sooner rather than later so i can keep on working with her.
And i had another John Friend dream last night. This time he was teaching and i got to learn from him and so did my best friend. There was some time when i couldn't find him or something and my next door neighbor from childhood was helping. crazy. i do like having John Friend dreams. they feel very reassuring in some way."
Friday, January 11, 2008
Winter at Maymont
here are some photos from our afternoon at Maymont the other day. 70 degrees in January! hmmmm....
First on the bridge in the Japanese Garden. i'm really not doing this pose right but i wasn't warm or anything. i DO like the spirit involved though
Second actually IN the fountain of the Italian Garden Virabradrasana II, also i like the spirit more than the execution of the pose
First on the bridge in the Japanese Garden. i'm really not doing this pose right but i wasn't warm or anything. i DO like the spirit involved though
Second actually IN the fountain of the Italian Garden Virabradrasana II, also i like the spirit more than the execution of the pose
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Peace is Every Step
Peace is every step
The shining red sun is my heart
Each flower smiles at me
How green, how fresh all that grows.
How cool the wind blows.
Peace is every step
It turns the endless path to joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh
The shining red sun is my heart
Each flower smiles at me
How green, how fresh all that grows.
How cool the wind blows.
Peace is every step
It turns the endless path to joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Monday, December 17, 2007
You Can't Hide from Yoga
you can try to hide things from yourself, but yoga always finds it.
i've been stuck lately. teetering between inspiration and moving forward and more often feeling lethargic and dragging. i'm giving the credit to the lack of sunlight in my life these days. as i may have mentioned, i am entirely Solar Powered. add to that my mom calling this weekend to tell us that maddie, our family pet, had to pass away on saturday. and it's not so much that maddie died. i feel ok about that. i just really have a hard time with my mom having grief. same way i feel/felt about my godmother passing away a year and a half ago. i have my own grief and process about it, i can deal with my own process. but my mom is a whole nother ballgame. it is too real if she is sad too.
so of course i try to run away and avoid avoid avoid. but.... tonight i'm in yoga class... tonight we practice backbends (those notorious emotion openers) and tonight i'm laying in savasana and the tears start to flow. you can run from yourself, but you can't run from yoga. so i just stayed there and cried myself through savasana. what else could i do? by the time we were seated for three final OMs i was all closed back up again. not finished, just put back together. i guess i owe myself some more time with that and some more time mourning the light before it rises up again in Saraswati time (Spring)
as always the practice continues to amaze me.
i've been stuck lately. teetering between inspiration and moving forward and more often feeling lethargic and dragging. i'm giving the credit to the lack of sunlight in my life these days. as i may have mentioned, i am entirely Solar Powered. add to that my mom calling this weekend to tell us that maddie, our family pet, had to pass away on saturday. and it's not so much that maddie died. i feel ok about that. i just really have a hard time with my mom having grief. same way i feel/felt about my godmother passing away a year and a half ago. i have my own grief and process about it, i can deal with my own process. but my mom is a whole nother ballgame. it is too real if she is sad too.
so of course i try to run away and avoid avoid avoid. but.... tonight i'm in yoga class... tonight we practice backbends (those notorious emotion openers) and tonight i'm laying in savasana and the tears start to flow. you can run from yourself, but you can't run from yoga. so i just stayed there and cried myself through savasana. what else could i do? by the time we were seated for three final OMs i was all closed back up again. not finished, just put back together. i guess i owe myself some more time with that and some more time mourning the light before it rises up again in Saraswati time (Spring)
as always the practice continues to amaze me.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Dilema Resolved
The teaching dilema resolved finally. Starting today my YS class is now labled a "hatha" class rather than vinyasa. so now i can teach my own way and at a slower pace and the students will expect a slower pace and longer held poses. hooray! along with that i've added a 'power vinyasa' to my class load at YS so i still get to teach some vinyasa which is fun.
this morning i went over to YS and got there around 8:30 to practice for a while before the students arrived. it was cold and grey and rainy out and i thought for sure no one would come. but i went and started warming up in "Air", the blue studio. and the room was warm with candles glowing in the windows and then from the french restaurant downstairs came the most fabulous scent of baking bread. it was all i could do to keep practicing and not run down there and buy a loaf. YUM!
this morning i taught with the theme of looking inward because of the winter solstice coming up on friday. that this is the Kali season of the year. the time of darkness of ending of dying away and is a good time for internal reflection. i started the class talking about that and ended the class with a lovingkindness meditation. and i personally felt pretty good about the whole thing.
what i've been thinking about lately is that people come to yoga because they want to be inspired and moved. that's what i want from yoga. i don't want to just do exercise, i want life inspiration and guidelines and to be reminded of what is really important. so by not giving those things in my classes i'm really selling students short. but offering those things is feeding their souls and they WANT it. i think i didn't offer it before because i was afraid for some reason, that people wouldn't be open to it. that is definitely not the case at all. yogis ARE open to it, and if they aren't it is just because they're having an off day OR they haven't been introduced to it yet. but anyone who comes to a yoga class on a sunday morning definitely isn't in church at that time, maybe they're looking for something else for inspiration. if i can help them find the divinity within through the yoga and meditation practice. i'm doing a darn good job i hope. today people left with smiles and thank yous. that's the best i can hope for.
this morning i went over to YS and got there around 8:30 to practice for a while before the students arrived. it was cold and grey and rainy out and i thought for sure no one would come. but i went and started warming up in "Air", the blue studio. and the room was warm with candles glowing in the windows and then from the french restaurant downstairs came the most fabulous scent of baking bread. it was all i could do to keep practicing and not run down there and buy a loaf. YUM!
this morning i taught with the theme of looking inward because of the winter solstice coming up on friday. that this is the Kali season of the year. the time of darkness of ending of dying away and is a good time for internal reflection. i started the class talking about that and ended the class with a lovingkindness meditation. and i personally felt pretty good about the whole thing.
what i've been thinking about lately is that people come to yoga because they want to be inspired and moved. that's what i want from yoga. i don't want to just do exercise, i want life inspiration and guidelines and to be reminded of what is really important. so by not giving those things in my classes i'm really selling students short. but offering those things is feeding their souls and they WANT it. i think i didn't offer it before because i was afraid for some reason, that people wouldn't be open to it. that is definitely not the case at all. yogis ARE open to it, and if they aren't it is just because they're having an off day OR they haven't been introduced to it yet. but anyone who comes to a yoga class on a sunday morning definitely isn't in church at that time, maybe they're looking for something else for inspiration. if i can help them find the divinity within through the yoga and meditation practice. i'm doing a darn good job i hope. today people left with smiles and thank yous. that's the best i can hope for.
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