Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Practice Schmactice

Sometimes that's just how it goes. Practice Schmactice. today was just one of those days. i am very tired, and my mind is completely disorganized, plus, all i really seem to want to do is eat. that's never a good sign. that's how i know i'm tired and probably a little stressed with trying to get all these new jobs under my belt.
so this afternoon around 345 i attempted to practice. i am supposed to be practicing a minimum of 1 hour a day 4 days a week plus at least one class. i am doing pretty good about it, but today i fell short. i got on my mat, started up some music because that often helps get me going, and ... nothing. i did a bunch of sun salutes.... nothing, no inspiration, no inner clarity. i did a handstand and even balanced for a few seconds. i practiced parsvakonasana and trikonasana and by then 20 minutes had gone by and STILL no feeling of moving past whatever hump it was i was trying to get over so that was IT!
some days i just need a restorative practice, even though i HATE to admit that. so i settled myself down and moved into supported supta badakonasana, then supported child's pose, and finally viparita kaurani (legs up the wall pose) ah. that all felt good. but still no mental change. all just ho hum. blech.
i suppose it's a good time now to work on non-attachment to outcomes and non-expectations for what the practice will bring, buti have to admit the days like this are discouraging. at least i rest assured that my energy will come back and my heart in the practice will come back. that i can practice again later tonight if i want to and somehow it will be different. or maybe today i just needed to listen to my body a little more and work on accepting myself just as i am. lack of inspiration and all.

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