you can try to hide things from yourself, but yoga always finds it.
i've been stuck lately. teetering between inspiration and moving forward and more often feeling lethargic and dragging. i'm giving the credit to the lack of sunlight in my life these days. as i may have mentioned, i am entirely Solar Powered. add to that my mom calling this weekend to tell us that maddie, our family pet, had to pass away on saturday. and it's not so much that maddie died. i feel ok about that. i just really have a hard time with my mom having grief. same way i feel/felt about my godmother passing away a year and a half ago. i have my own grief and process about it, i can deal with my own process. but my mom is a whole nother ballgame. it is too real if she is sad too.
so of course i try to run away and avoid avoid avoid. but.... tonight i'm in yoga class... tonight we practice backbends (those notorious emotion openers) and tonight i'm laying in savasana and the tears start to flow. you can run from yourself, but you can't run from yoga. so i just stayed there and cried myself through savasana. what else could i do? by the time we were seated for three final OMs i was all closed back up again. not finished, just put back together. i guess i owe myself some more time with that and some more time mourning the light before it rises up again in Saraswati time (Spring)
as always the practice continues to amaze me.