Sunday, January 13, 2008

Immersion 1 weekend 1

This weekend I started my Anusara Immersion 1 at Willow Street Yoga in DC with Kate Miller and Moses Brown. This first weekend was led by Kate Miller
Yogini's Journal: "if nothing else my practice should become more refined and much deeper through this process. Who knew you could work so deeply?? Wild.
Quick personal practice notes: Today what i got that i had been leaving out was the hugging to the midline in the legs in Tadasana. So that is happening now with the heels spinning in to combat the effect of inner spiral of the thighs. And i'm in uttanasana and my gut is lifting up, not collapsing over my thighs because my heart is soft and my legs are engaged.
also, got Chateranga is done with the hands at chest level. just like a weight lifter bench presses to the chest, chateranga is with the arms there, not at eye level. (i was already working that after talking with vicki but the weight lifter image really helps). Then soften the heart and melt into the pose, weight into the fingers. Prasarita Padottanasana i worked the muscle energy so so much I felt it wrap around my pelvis and up into my abdominals. deep deep work in my hips too. and my goodness she is COOKING us in downward dog!

So, it's Sunday of the first weekend. we're on lunch break which is weird because it's 3:30 and we started at noon. But, ok, it's lunch. The practice today was slow and detailed and hard work, but good. The lecture was about the five principles and the three As. I was surprised how much i knew and could recall on demand. good.
So this time, I feel a qualitative difference. In my last teacher training i really pushed myself socially to connect and be chatty. This time i'm sitting alone in a corner on our lunch break happy as a clam to be quiet and writing and off on my own. Last time i would be so annoyed with myself thinking "I NEED to make connections" this time i'm thinking "I NEED to honor myself and take this quiet time so i can be fresh and open to receive in the classroom" such a difference. a SOFTENING and allowing for myself to just be ok with who i am. even if i'm an introvert (gasp!) Now i'm in a different place and surely that has to do somewhat with using my practice to know and ACCEPT myself more fully. honestly, it feels good to take the break i need and NOT to be down on myself for needing it. I used to spend a lot of time steamrolling myself without even thinking. Hopefully not so much anymore.

Two other bits about today. First i practiced dead center front row, i could reach out and touch the teacher. That is totally NOT me. I don't want to be back row (except when i'm practicing somewhere as a teacher getting a freebie) but i'm not usually absolute front. I try to blend in to the crowd and often to disappear. No. now i'm working on really allowing my light to shine and my self to be seen. (no wonder i could use a break right now)

Also today in Savasana, after all that deep work, i found myself thinking about the hospital where i used to work and the climate there right around the time that i left. As i'm writing this i realize that this is about the same time that Vicki stopped teaching and so i had no more Anusara classes. that's interesting - as soon as i get my body back into alignment it spits out the last things i was working on before this big break. i know i also thought of Vicki at some point either before class or in savasana and a real sense of mourning and loss came up. When i got word that we could practice together it really felt like she was coming back from the dead. so i'm just joyful to be able to see her if and when possible. I hope our thursday practice really takes hold and she becomes Certified sooner rather than later so i can keep on working with her.

And i had another John Friend dream last night. This time he was teaching and i got to learn from him and so did my best friend. There was some time when i couldn't find him or something and my next door neighbor from childhood was helping. crazy. i do like having John Friend dreams. they feel very reassuring in some way."

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